Mar. 4, 2011
Apparently my 4.42 year old daughter doesn’t have a thought/speaking filter.
She must get this from me though my filter tends to crumble in direct correlation to how much wine I’ve drank. No, she doesn’t drink (yet) and I’m afraid if she has no filter now, what degree of restraint will SHE have in the future?
As early as two years ago, I realized the trouble I may be in due to her debating strategies as noted in Discussions and Debates.
Anyway, here’s a few Julia'isms of late:
1. To anyone who has anything but an American ‘accent’. “Why are you speaking Spanish?”
2. “So when you die, do you burn up or do your bones break?”
3. “Saying idiot, stupid and whatever ‘are part of the law’.”
4. "It was an ACCIDENT" when busted after illegal snacking.
5. At woman walking into Nordstrom from parking lot “Your shoes do NOT go with your outfit”. Frankly Julia was dead wrong, they looked perfectly fine. If you’re going to criticize one’s fashion sense, at least don’t be WRONG.
6. To the nice manager at Calif. Pizza Kitchen “Are you getting married?” He was wearing a button down shirt and tie.
7. “Are you Big Daddy?” to my friend Leticia’s husband. Not clear on where that came from.
6. To Leticia herself “Are you 45”? She’s looks and is nothing remotely close.
7. “Is that lady having a baby or just fat?” Fortunately said verbal assault victim didn’t hear this.
8. "I’d like to go to great Granddad’s cemetery and get him. Can we unbury him?”
9. “Why does Alec always play with is penis?” If I only knew the answer to that; ask your father.
10. When realizing Julia had walked out with a necklace from The Children’s Place, I told her we had to take it back immediately as we didn’t pay for it. Her response “But you didn’t SEE me take it right?”. Klepto
11. “You shouldn’t laugh at anybody who toots and burps. Well, okay, farts.”
12. “Did you know there’s a cookie slide? And for real life.”
13. “I’ve decided I’m a vegetarian. And for real life.”
14. To Alec’s (male) teacher at a volunteer luncheon “Quit spitting on me”. Then she moved her chair over to get some distance.
Julia has a significant adverse reaction to anything that smells e.g. food, coffee, bathrooms etc. She’ll say “I can’t breathe” and “Oh MY GOSH, it smells SO bad and I clearly can’t be in here."
Maybe I just need to refrain from speaking near her when I've been imbibing.