Lucky Mom

Feb. 21, 2010

Procrastination a.k.a. Book Review from Hell - Part I

Wow, so what’s been going on the last month? Where have I been?

Or have you noticed the ‘absence’? Actually, a better question is ‘Where has my ‘free time’ gone the last 2+ YEARS?

Well, let me tell you.

It’s gone to a ludicrous waste of my life to the Twilight book series.

I want my life back! In fact, I demand it. Can I get a refund?

Let’s see: 4 books at approx. 2481 total pages x 10 min/page (yes it probably took that on average as I had to keep re-reading pages due to my mind continually wandering off) = 413.5 hours of my time.

That’s 10.33 full-time weeks of work, or several more pounds worked off of my *ss, or additional walls painted in my house. Sigh…

A Little History:

Way back when, the four, count them FOUR books came out on the Twilight series, I scoffed at the vampire fiction. I would obviously NEVER read such rubbish.

First, I detest fiction as a rule and two, as everyone knows; I don’t get nor enjoy science fiction on any level.

Yes, I’ve been called and fully accept the ‘boring, unimaginative’ type titles.

I remember perfectly, my husband doubling over when I said I thought I should read the Twilight series. He said and I quote “You’ll hate them, they’re not you”.

Huh. I thought that merely sounded like a challenge. I too wanted to reap the utter literary satisfaction everyone else seemed to be rewarded with upon series completion.

So, I’m at Bunco some time in early 2008 when I hear all the uproar on the series and how everyone has read all four books in a weekend. I continue to hear these sentiments at restaurants, the gym, the park, pretty much everywhere. I’m told by many, many people, that ‘you can’t put them down’ and ‘you’ll be so sad when you’re done’.

After fighting with my gut and losing, I took the challenge.

Partially because a friend of mine bought Twilight for me as a gift, I read it, granted, slowly and cautiously as I didn’t want to scare myself by immersing into vampire land too quickly. I kept telling myself my husband, that I was ‘opening up my mind’ and kind of liking the book. I wasn’t quite finished when the movie came out.

Then, on to book two (New Moon). That was quite the struggle. It was like working out for people who really don’t want to. I’d find ample reason NOT to read it as I was busy, uh, putting in a load of laundry, or sweeping the driveway. Possibly, cleaning out a closet, anything not to pick up the book…..I was so bored and uninterested.

I realized, as in further, that I could never be in one of the numerous book clubs here in Steiner Ranch. It would feel like dreadful homework to read a book I wasn’t really interested in no matter how good the book may or may not be.

Bunco? Yes, no prep needed, just $10.00 and an appetite.

So, after I grudgingly coerced myself to finish book two, I borrowed book three (Eclipse) from a friend. By now, I can’t possibly put out money for this; I’m merely attempting to finish the marathon, or maybe, triathlon (Ironman?).

This was absolute torture.

Every night after I’d dusted each piece of bedroom furniture, ironed my socks, called every last old friend, I’d snuggle into bed and see that damn book on my bedside. I’d sneer at it, rather pissed off that I had grown to despise it but know that I just HAD to read it. I kept hearing ‘Don't quit, it was amazing and the whole story line would be worth it at the end’.

I felt like I was struggling to get my PhD in something I had no passion for.

I also felt like I HAD to finish it in order to ‘really get it’.

......to be continued

7 Comments Posted (Add Yours)

1

I hurt for you, Kristine. What do you have to forfeit if you don't finish? Maybe it's worth it all just to STOP and pay the price. Then, go to the library and check out Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. I never read it years ago, nor later when everyone raved about it, and I finally bot a cheap copy at our local used book store. I don't like science fiction either (except for one book and when I locate the title, I'll send it to you as it was really good), but I enjoyed this book, mainly because it was written in the early 1950s and it was amazing to read some technology ideas he had back then that are sort of true today. It's a short book, a little less than 200 pages, and I'm glad I read it. I'd like for my grandsons to read it. Let me know if you ever get into it.
And, yes, I wondered where you were and I'm glad you're back - I missed you!
Love, Sonja

2

Personally, ironing my socks does sounds far more enjoyable than reading this series, and not because I don't like to read. I devour books as I'm sitting on planes or in airports, belong to a book club, and still always on the hunt for something new, (or old), and interesting. Like you, I have had so many people, people who's recommendations I usually trust, tell me that it's the best thing since sliced bread. Still, I just can't go there. Haven't seen the movies either, and don't plan to. Knowing your passion for non-fiction, try "Bonk" or "Stiff" by Mary Roach. She's one funny chick and found the humor in the scientific studies of both, sex, (Bonk), and cadavers, (Stiff). Sonja is dead-on about "Fahrenheit 451" too. A true classic.

3

I haven't had any notion of reading those Twilight books either. Good luck!

4

Try a little palette cleanser of some true crime, and then perhaps you'll be ready to venture into the realms of fiction once more. Maybe something like The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, perhaps?

5

Thanks for the suggestions, I will be MORE than happy to check them out...with all my vampire-free, free-time now.

6

Thanks a lot for your great good man

7

I would love to read more

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