Lucky Mom

Feb. 14, 2009

Glitter is Evil

With Valentine’s Day being celebrated in schools across the country this past week, I really only have one question:

Who created glitter and more importantly - why?

It’s worse than confetti, play dough, garland and any other stupid, messy, sticky shit product in the history of product creation.

It ends up all over your clothes, furniture, carpeting, hair etc. I hate it along with all sparkly stuff.

It reminds me of when your child’s best friend or maybe even a relative gives your child some 75+ item toy. Who does this? They must not be parents (or maybe at least recently) as no one in their right mind (or maybe just my mind) would gift another’s child with such malice.

I’m partial to the no fun, boring mom 8 item rule.

If a toy/game/crayon box has more than about 6-8 items, it’s formally banned in my house. This goes along with paints, play dough, sand, bugs and Chia or other ‘grow-in-the-window-sill' type pets. I’d prefer to keep my home from looking like a crime scene.

Plus, I admit to a few household 'idiosyncricies' as previously noted in Weird Stuff - II.

We pay a lot to have our kids learn ‘creative’ stuff at school (partially due to the fact that I couldn’t be less creative myself).

I’ll stick to clean books, educational (or sometimes not) DVD’S and big items eg. Trucks, dolls (with VERY few accessories of course, say maybe a hairbrush) and Wii.

My daughter Julia was given very sweet (but messy as hell) valentines cards by her school friends (my son’s school thankfully does not allow commercial holiday paraphernalia due to the multi-cultural celebrations and influences within his school) which I promptly placed in a Ziploc baggie after reading them to her IN THE BLOODY GARAGE.

Of course, said baggie will be discarded in the bin when she’s not looking.

Maybe I’ll start taking pictures of any glittery shit pretty, sparkly cards or gifts before I covertly dump them.

Hopefully she won't notice and I can bribe Alec sufficiently.

6 Comments Posted (Add Yours)


I'm with you. Nothing I hate worse than opening up a greeting card and having lots of little numbers, trees, X's and O'x, etc., coming out of it and getting all over the table, floor, counter, or whatever, and then I have to get the broom/dustpan, dishrag, to gather them up and throw them away! HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!!!!!
I just don't have the guts to tell my sister NOT to send that crap any more!!!!!


I love that your anti-glitter rant is accompanied by an amazon ad for glitter valentine stickers! You know that Julia is going to want to coat herself, your home and probably Alec with glitter as soon as she is able to do it by herself!


I'm with you on the glitter garbage. That stuff is SO annoying when you're still finding it on the floor, counter, furniture, etc. a year after receiving the glitter infested card or item. And there's nothing worse than going out in public, looking in a mirror and seeing tiny, shiny specks on your face that you didn't even know were there. Although, the Glitter Valentine Sticker ad does make this all pretty amusing. Thanks for pointing that out Monica, I would have missed it completely.


Man, no glitter? No multi-part toys? No playdough? What kind of ship you runnin' down there? An old folks home?


Julia will be 'dealt with' if she dares : )

My ship is a well-oiled machine. he he


i'm with you all the way. It's impossible to clean every single spec off your funiture/ carpet/ hair... house! They should be made liable for all the time we've spent dusting that crap off

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