Lucky Mom

Mar. 15, 2008

Dear Julia

Dear Julia,

As it’s been well over a year and you’re still here, it’s become apparent that you’re going to be staying awhile.

So, I thought I’d better submit my requests to you in a timely manner in order for them to be incorporated into your schedule, routine, psyche or whatever.

  1. Please discontinue dangling off the chair in order to swat at my back or pull my hair while I’m watching T.V. I know you think it’s funny. It’s not.
  2. Cease with the pouncing on me especially after getting a good running start.
  3. Quit throwing balls at my face -- you know I can’t throw as well as you and frankly you’re making me look bad.
  4. When you make me cry, please don't laugh. Again, not funny.

Do you even know the meaning of ‘gentle’?

You hit like a boxer, slap like a pissed off teenage girl (I think), kick soccer balls harder and run faster than me.

And what’s up with riding my old tricycle? You know I never liked that stupid thing and now mommy and daddy are all jazzed at YOU because it’s ‘finally getting some use out of it’.

By the way, mommy isn’t happy you got her kicked out of the gym again just when she desperately needed a workout. (Whatever that is). Why did you nosh on that 11 month old’s back anyway?

Maybe try being less of a picky eater so you won't feel the need to chow on body parts when sudden hunger hits. K?

Also, try picking on someone your own size. Better yet, pick on someone significantly older and bigger than you as you’re kinda rough for a girl.

On a positive note, please continue to pitch or even accidentally drop food morsels on the floor as I will predictably pick them up for immediate consumption.

You are kind of fun to play with occasionally, especially when I’m waiting impatiently for mommy to make dinner and she shouts something about her hair. (I think she said I need to get out of it but I don’t know why, I can’t even reach her hair and there’s really not that much room for me to get in it anyway?)

If you could kindly implement the above stated requests at your earliest convenience, I’d appreciate it.

Your brother, Alec
a.k.a. Your punching bag

4 Comments Posted (Add Yours)


Wow, she sure sounds way different than Alec. Do you finally have a picky eater? Julia sounds so fun and adorable. I miss you not living here anymore so I can be a part of your kids growing up.


Heh with a Girl Bully. It's a little bit funny, actually.


That reminds me of the time my two year old son was "loving" on my new born baby girl who had only been home from the hospital a couple of days. It started out with a loving caress, then became harder and harder,until he finally toppled her baby seat over. All the while saying, " ub u Manna." (love you Amanda) Sibling rivelry never goes away!


Wow, I can't wait to see that little ankle biter, (or any exposed body part, apparently). Sounds like she has really come a long way from that cute little baby I remember. My visit in May should be a hoot. Tell Alec that Auntie Wendi is on her way to help hom out. I was going to bring him some cool new brainiac toy but sounds as if he needs some boxing gloves instead.


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