Lucky Mom

Jan. 19, 2007


OMFG. I cannot believe the extent NON-CRIMINALS have to go to just to live.

I have been stewing a bit lately due to the administrative hell I’ve been stuck in.

Without boring you with all the details (I’m sure other NON-CRIMINALS have to go through this too), it just took my husband and I over three months (including many, many phone calls) to get replacement bank debit cards as we didn’t receive our new cards after the last ones expired.

We innocently didn’t receive them. Oddly, we BOTH didn’t receive them even though we were assuredthey sent them!’ separately and 'you must have lost them'. Right.

These debit cards are tied to many on-line accounts that bill automatically etc.

Oh, but wait, during this THREE MONTH LONG PROCESS STRAIGHT FROM THE GALES OF HELL, we found out we each get fun new numbers. WTF?

How cool is that? We get to go through all our current accounts and change them to our new card numbers. Oh, but wait again, now, my husband and I cannot share our numbers but rather must EACH have different card numbers that tie to the same account too.

And of course, we have to have TWO separate login ID/Passwords THAT BOTH GO TO THE SAME F*&KING ACCOUNT. (I guess that’s in case we decide to rip the other off though I’d designate that CRIMINAL.)

It's utter lunacy.

To drive my point home (or just continue my rant), how about a new 'chart':

Can’t take adequate personal hygiene items on a plane and must pony up for the airport vendor’s bottled water.

Must have home security systems and locks on everything from your car to your kid's backpack.

Do you order medications through the mail? Hope they’re not good ones because those have been known to ‘disappear’ in the mail.

*Can't let your kids play outside (pediphiles ya know).
*Don’t dare let them go to church by themselves either (you never know about the Priest’s intentions).
*Kids practically need to be armed just to defend themselves at school (watch that quiet goth kid).
*Don’t let them on-line without close monitoring (have you seen Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator”)?

How much of our home and car insurance rates are due to car thieves, arsonists and other insurance scammers? (sadly, I am way too familiar with this one. Ever been a 'claims adjuster'? Hopefully not as it's a thankless, underpaid job that is guaranteed to get you threatened, stalked, belittled and pretty much any other unpleasant verb along with leaving you no personal time due to the unheard of workloads of each sap one. I'm not bitter though)

What’s the markup on consumer goods due to stolen items?

Think about how many passwords you have to have to log in to your work computer. How long does it take to get a new employee up and running in an office?

NON-CRIMINALS have to jump through so many hoops and spend so much of our time and energy just to live our NON-CRIMINAL lives. I’m more than a bit bitter about this though I'm sure you can't tell).

CRIMINALS make my life hell. I hate them and wish them all a painful, torturous death.

I’d like to start a LuckyMom post series on all the SH*T one has to go through if they dare live their lives crime-free. Maybe you can add your beefs. Feel free. No red tape here. Won’t cost you a thing and you don’t have to prove who you are.

If you’re a CRIMINAL, please go elsewhere – I hate you. All of you.

6 Comments Posted (Add Yours)


Another good one, thanks for the Sat morning chuckle! How's the babe?


Who are you banking with , so I know who not to bank with?!?!


Christy - Babe is sleeping for England!

Anonymous - Netbank


It's exhausting. Apparently we need to check our account balances daily for computer theft. Make a tiny train ticket purchase on line and you're at risk of having your entire account depleted...which in my case would disappoint a thief...but even so....Someday I might actually have enough worth taking!


Can you say WAMU. That is the one bank I have to say I hate. I've had so much trouble with them. Side Note: Heard on the news about a cat going from England to American & got lost. That cat's name is Pumpkin. Any relation to the cat you had or still have????


Heh — you said 'sleeping for England'! I have converted you at last. Now, what else can I work on...?

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